Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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