It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
