yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize