you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
