Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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  (313): Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra. http://tfl.nu/n0j6
  Replies (5) Good night (2061) Bad night (903)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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  (416): Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine. http://tfl.nu/wzgr
  Replies (4) Good night (2347) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.

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  (765): It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt. (1-765): Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead. http://tfl.nu/kzx4
  Replies (50) Good night (2227) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?

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  (513): The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him? http://tfl.nu/pyyw
  Replies (23) Good night (6536) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.

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  (231): bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this. (517): Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one. http://tfl.nu/v0gx
  Replies (49) Good night (6456) Bad night (1695)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.

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  (563): For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in. http://tfl.nu/kbab
  Replies (12) Good night (2712) Bad night (1020)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

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  (613): Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover http://tfl.nu/cy4m
  Replies (5) Good night (3342) Bad night (1670)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.

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  (801): She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever. http://tfl.nu/p8e4
  Replies (6) Good night (836) Bad night (4118)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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  (713): That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me. http://tfl.nu/mvmi
  Replies (8) Good night (2435) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.

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  (414): czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw. http://tfl.nu/4g8m
  Replies (7) Good night (1837) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me

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  (970): Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me http://tfl.nu/7cqx
  Replies (5) Good night (2533) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.

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  (714): Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends. http://tfl.nu/ft9d
  Replies (17) Good night (4640) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.

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  (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem. http://tfl.nu/ie18
  Replies (10) Good night (1818) Bad night (946)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
  Replies (8) Good night (1334) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.

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  (805): I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me. http://tfl.nu/p2nw
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (240)

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