Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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(404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one. http://tfl.nu/q7a8

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.

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(847): Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy. http://tfl.nu/pes5

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.

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(502): You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes. http://tfl.nu/c0ti

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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(813): I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this? http://tfl.nu/o9lt

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(419): View more from Ohio

It'd be like medium rare by now.

(1-419): View more from Ohio

I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.

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(419): It'd be like medium rare by now. (1-419): I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/d8mh

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(732): View more from New Jersey

come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

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(732): come over i need a lifeguard for my shower http://tfl.nu/1qns

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(415): View more from California

I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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(415): I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground http://tfl.nu/kjbx

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(818): View more from California

It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.

(1-818): View more from California

And this was for your brother's Christening?

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(818): It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons. (1-818): And this was for your brother's Christening? http://tfl.nu/dxaq

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(716): View more from New York

I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.

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(716): I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward. http://tfl.nu/2euk

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(847): View more from Illinois

He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?

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(847): He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/g8mb

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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(781): after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13 http://tfl.nu/mex2

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(330): View more from Ohio

I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left

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(330): I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left http://tfl.nu/2seq

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.

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(832): I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me. http://tfl.nu/6e6y

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?

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(506): Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs? http://tfl.nu/qbtb

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(443): View more from Maryland

Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career

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(443): Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career http://tfl.nu/vwhr

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