Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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