no, he came in my armpit
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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