I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
