my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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