im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
