I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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