i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
