I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
