im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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