she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
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It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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