If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
