What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
