Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
