He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
