I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
