Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
my liver is dry heaving
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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