We're like a lot better than the average bears
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
