I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
