dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
