I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
