I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
