i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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