I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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