Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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