just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
