She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
