im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
