OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
