Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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