you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
