I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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