We won't sleep together?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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