I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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