a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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