Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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