tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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