they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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