Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
