I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
