Pants 0. Shit 1.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
