awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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