wakey wakey hands off snakey
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love you.
Bad choice
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
