Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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