the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
