i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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