It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
