Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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