I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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