erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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