I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
