You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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