mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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