you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
