i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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