I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
