I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
