your parents love me but you hate me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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