Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
