you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
