There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
