Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize