And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
