We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wat bout pragnant strippers??
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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