My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
