Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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