Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
