Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
