i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
